I never paid much attention to a normal, calendar year. When you have a serious illness, days are measured in hours, minutes and even seconds. On a good day, when the mind is quiet, belly laughs come and go. That usually happens when my favorite people are around, the ones that know me best. Yes, being loved without the label or judgment, counts. On a bad day, I fight. Alone, no one can do it for me. I have to choose life, the want to live, dimmed by shredded, twisted neurons of a misfiring mind. I don’t count years anymore, I count the seconds. The good and bad days a mashup, strewn together like broken bulbs on Christmas trees. I prefer the lunar year, where the sun, stars and moon align, and misalign. That, I can relate to. Goodbye lost friends, career, moments I won’t experience again. A warm embrace to those that stuck around. Yours are the ‘likes’ on Facebook, the thoughtful cards, the small kindnesses that make time bearable. There have been happy moments; love, laughter, May sunshine, colors in bloom, life filled with purpose. Personal goals, I set for myself. Come hell or high-water. In the middle of the raging war inside my head, I set only one, besides getting better. A lofty, intimate, soul fulfilling, goal. To write, and finish a book. Not any book, but a glorious, life-affirming story filled with raw, flawed, humanistic beings, who choose hope and love. The things that truly matter. No small feat for the ‘normal’ everyday person, a gigantic leap for someone like me. I hate labels, I find them abhorrent, run of the mill ordinary, much like holiday festivities. There is no other me, or you. There never will be. Embrace it, give yourself a hug and pat on the back for enduring another year, gracefully, humbly and with integrity. All of it, the messy, and the emotion. Say good-bye to the evil snake of 2013, welcoming the Chinese New Year, 2014. The year of the majestic, elegant, lithe, spirited, strong, dreamy, ageless, wild, fast, beautiful horse.
Horoscope 2014, forecast for the 2014 year of the Horse
The 2014 Chinese Year is the 31 number in the sixty-year cycle called Chia Wu and described in Chinese tradition like “Horse in the Clouds”. 2014 is the year of Green Wooden Horse.
The upcoming compassionate 2014 year of the Horse is going to be attentive to all our troubles and quick to react in protection of those who cannot fight for themselves. The optimistic nature of the 2014 allows us to cope with financial hardships in the belief that good fortune will soon be on the way, while kind-hearted nature of the 2014 year provides us with supportive friends, ready to help us in difficulties just as we have helped them.
The Vast Landscape on Amazon.com
While living in Hamburg, my friend convinced me to go to the zoo. After walking the Alster 100 times, I begrudgingly obliged. A quick pic. in front of a sex shop. Yes, they had a red light district next to a zoo, bizarre but true. Anyway, I hated it. I don’t want to watch animals caged, suffering, climbing the walls. It’s barbaric, unnatural and confirms the times we live in. Greed and politics fuel a messed up society. Living in South Africa for a time, I saw zebras, penguins, giraffes roam free. Nature, uncontrived. Holiday break in my house means movies. We watch lots and lots of film, of all kinds, genres. Blackfish, the documentary about killer whales ripped from their mothers at a young age, held in captivity mainly at SeaWorld, was brutally mesmerizing. A wake-up call. SeaWorld has made millions, gotten away with murder for a profit. I say fuk you, SeaWorld. Greed may be intoxicating, you won’t see one dollar of mine. Blackfish is quite possibly the most socially disturbing film I’ve seen. And, a must for anyone with a conscience, and a pulse.
‘Killer whales are beloved majestic, friendly giants yet infamous for their capacity to kill viciously. BLACKFISH unravels the complexities of this dichotomy, employing the story of the notorious performing whale Tilikum, who – unlike any orca in the wild – has taken the lives of several people while in captivity. BLACKFISH expands on the discussion of keeping such intelligent creatures in captivity. – See more at: http://www.magpictures.com/blackfish/#sthash.dwzwYLmw.dpuf’
“A MUST-SEE DOCUMENTARY. A Best Documentary nomination seems assured in what will doubtlessly be one of this summer’s most talked about films.”See more at: http://www.magpictures.com/blackfish/#sthash.dwzwYLmw.dpuf
A bright, shiny moment captured becomes the faded, fond memory. This, is precisely how Christmas felt, some time ago. May you carry the magic of a child and all their firsts, hold tight to the warmth in your heart, mindful of the moments. The bizarre, fleeting wonder of a life. A Christmas wish, may the child grow confidant, strong, happy, humble and kind. Compassionate. Yes, it has been an off-year for some. Here’s to hope, a new day, another chance and wee bit of luck.
Turning the page.
When all else fails, CRANK IT UP.
‘So wake me up when it’s all over
When I’m wiser and I’m older
All this time I was finding myself, and I
I didn’t know I was lost’
lyrics by Avicii
Start to Finish. Writing is my medicine, the thing that comes naturally. The words conduits from the air, energy, somewhere I don’t quite understand. Hey, I’ll take it. When I set out to self publish, I thought this will be a breeze. Yeah, not. I’m no quitter. Start to finish, I present The Vast Landscape. I hope you love Harrison as much as I do.
AFTERGLOW – excerpt The Vast Landscape
A precocious little girl, with ringlets and carrot top hair wears bright colors and lace stockings. From a not so distant place, Zack sits perched on a bench. Enjoying an ordinary spring day, ice cream drips down his granddaughter’s chin. The back and forth sing song of the ocean, sand, surf, her own personal backyard.
-Some days are B & W, and some are backdrops of dazzling color. Some days just are.
In 3, 2, 1 …